But I'm not talking about getting annoyed with ANY of you guys. I'm talking about my own experiences. I can usually tell when people want to sincerely learn, at least in person. The people I spoke about in my post were NOt trying to be friendly to me, hun. They weren't, unfortunately. I was actually really upset that day, because they insulted me, but I got over it and realized that friends like that aren't worth it anyway. And I did not ever say that my culture is perfect, arab culture is pretty bad because a lot of has not changed fron before islam, like "honor killings". But it's true I do defend it the best I can, because people have to see the other point of view, I think. I believe my religion is perfect, BUT the people practicing it are the farthest from perfect. They are the ones that mess it up of course. WE are the ones that mess up Islam. The muslims. I do believe that only God and his Books, The torah, the bible, and the quran, are perfect. You don't have to tell me that. I don't say that Morocco or other countries don't oppress women, I say Islam doesn't oppress women. Everytime I post something, everyone seems to think I've said something else. I repeated it, I have never gotten mad at you guys. You are not understanding me.

I'm very thankful to the Americans who are still open-hearted after 9/11, because it's had to be. BUT not all of them are like that, unfortunately. Not the ones that physically attacked muslims or anyone that looked Muslim...

It's just that you don't understand what I'm saying.
It seems like I'm speaking a different language sometimes...

… i completely understand u and agree with u and i want u to know that. we feel, or at least i feel like i know our religion and how wonderful it is but others cant see it because of the stupid acts of people who claim to be muslims. like whenever a man named mohammed beats his wife "omg those muslims" but if some "other" man did it hes just a bad guy. no one blames his religion.
--- your one of the people who is really openhearted about islam and i really appreciate that. it feels good to know there are people like you who want to learn about it and see everything neutrally. u can see that there are women oppressed in every culture and every person has their faults. unfortunately not everyone is like you. there are alot of ignorant people who automatically assume that its the teachings of islam that allows those terrible people to commit their crimes.
people have to understand that when we see anything on tv that depicts islam in a way that isnt true, we want to correct it so people can know the truth. this phorum gives us a chance to do that.

I do apologize, because I know for sure, I am not eloquent. I can never seem to communicate or get a point across well. I always use the wrong words. Some of us were meant to be talented speakers...

I do usually have to go back and clarify what I said...
I guess if you misunderstood, it was cause I made you misunderstand. makes sense. Sorry

Author: ---)
Date: 07-03-04 21:09 PDT

Ah, now that's more understandable.

But you do have to specify sometimes, rather than make general statements that lead to misunderstandings.

I can understand that some people are not friendly, etc. Sometimes I used to get questions about Catholic practices that were amazing to me. But that was when I was younger and quicker to misunderstand myself, and take offense. I don't do that any more. As you say, such "friends" are not worth it.

If you're offended by someone's question or remarks, sometimes you have to stop for a moment, say that you're not quite clear on what they're asking, and give them a chance to explain their question more clearly. Very often people don't know how to phrase a question clearly in the first place simply because they're puzzled by what they heard or saw.

Several years ago there was a live discussion by satellite TV between an American woman and a Muslim woman. I wish I could remember what country the Muslim woman was in. At one point the American woman asked the Muslim woman why Muslim women always wore black. The Muslim woman got very defensive and insulted and denied that they always wore black, saying that they wore many colors just like other women do. That response embarassed and confused the American woman. A few minutes later, a clip was shown of Muslim women walking on a city street in that country, and ALL of them were were black hijabs!! (Not sure of the spelling.) "There! That's what I mean," said the American woman. "They're all wearing black." "Oh," said the Muslim woman, "that's just being formal for outside in public. Inside, they wear all colors."

Obviously, no one here had ever seen Muslim women inside their homes in their regular clothes. Women in black is all we ever see of Muslim women in other countries (until El Clon, probably). That was the reason for the American woman's innocent question, but the Muslim woman, not asking for clarification of the question, had at first taken offense and caused embarassment to the American woman for her honest desire to know.

Communication skills are so important, especially when discussing things that may be of a sensitive nature. It might be helpful to keep it in mind that some people just don't communicate well unless you ask for clarification.